Can Communication and Connection Cause Confusion?

Can you remember a time when you thought you connected with someone, only to find out later they didn’t feel the same It’s frustrating when communication is mistaken for connection, at least it is for me.

We can communicate without connecting. We cannot connect without communicating. Communication happens in different ways, for different reasons. It focuses on sharing thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, not necessarily on understanding the people receiving them. Let me be very clear, any time we communicate, it should be guided by respect and value for others. There’s a continuum that ranges from casual conversation to true connection. Connections are the foundation of all great relationships.

When I was in education, it was frustrating when students referred to everyone as their “friend.” They might not know a person’s last name, birthday, or address but they still called them a friend. If we don’t know what a friend is, how will we know when we find one? Students, and adults too, often confuse acquaintances with friends. We communicate with acquaintances. We connect with friends.

Friends know each other, really know each other. Friends trust, respect, care for, and try to understand each other. They connect at a level that allows conversations without judgment, discussions of any topic without the need to reach the same conclusion. Friends accept and value each other as they are, without trying to change each other. As my grandmother said, our friends accept us “warts and all.” Communication is about words. Connection is about people.

As Sean Stephensons said “Communication is merely an exchange of information, but connection is an exchange of our humanity.” I think that sums to up pretty well.